The Way We Live Now: recalibrating our responsibilities. In tough times, we can’t be expected to support certain causes as effusively as we once did. Such causes include, but are not limited to:…
Tag Archives: trendwatch
When Cutting Your Dog’s Balls Off Isn’t Mean Enough [Trendwatch]
Do you hate dogs? Great. Awesome idea for you: adopt a dog, then decide that the dog’s barking annoys you, then have the dog’s vocal cords severed so it can’t bark ever again. Stupid dogs, always…
Why Waste Your Time in College When You Could Be Finding a Dead-End Job? [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: enamored with strategies doomed to backfire. College? Big waste of money. Taxing the rich? You’re punishing the best and brightest. When will the unemployed just start working…
A Scientific Theory of the Economic Progression of Total Brokeness [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: Like a smooth criminal. Well, “smooth” is not quite the right word. Desperate? Yes. And occasionally inept. There are no banks left to rob. There’s no bull market left to…
The Most Inappropriately Sexxxy School in the USA [Scandals]
An urgent, belated news bulletin: Lisa Guttilla, a gym teacher arrested Friday for illegally sexing up a 14 year-old girl, taught at the same high school as the famous Hot Sexxxy Lesbian Teachers….
Bad Things Might as Well Happen to People Who Are Already Miserable [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: Piling tragedy atop tragedy, in a towering tree of tragedy. It is not enough that the underclass exists; they must be made to suffer above and beyond their already harsh…
Celebrity Autobiographies from Beyond the Grave: Brilliant [Trendwatch]
On the 15th anniversary of her death, Tejano queen Selena is finally telling her story—by co-writing a new book with her former publicist, who channels Selena with the help of a psychic. This…
Things Were Surely Better Back in the Hypothetical Good Old Days [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: bicycling towards oblivion. Toyota’s given up on cars. The young lady winking at you’s a professional gold digger. And everyone who can’t run fast enough to keep their job is…
Must We Have Another Revolutionary War to Steal England’s Precious Food? (Yes) [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: Falling apart. Here are the things we currently lack: food, health care, and food, as well as money. What we do have, though, is our eye on the British. And we don’t like their…
Big Money Ruins Everything [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: Singin’ those class war blues. In this crazy world of haves and have-nots, could one man with a guitar change things with the power of a song? Fuck no. Come on. Great PR angle,…