The Way We Live Now: coming to terms with hopelessness. No use being hoity-toity any more! Our neighborhoods are slums, we live off food stamps, and we work in restaurants. We must accept that we are…
Tag Archives: Money Matters
A Cheapskate’s Valentine [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: doing anything for love. By “anything,” we mean “anything worth less than $50,” and by “$50,” we mean “assuming we can steal that much from our fellow poor suckers for…
American Optimagicians Will Triumph [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: Optimagically. We choose to believe that good times are ahead despite plain evidence to the contrary. As long as someone somewhere can bail someone else out, it’s luxury condos…
Don’t Blame the Rich, or Golfers, or Rich Golfers [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: Blaming the victim. People, stop! It’s crazy! We know you’re angry about your unemployment and poverty and endless coupon-clipping. But golf-happy bankers are not the…
Nuts [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: Unfulfilled. We can’t enjoy our bonus check. We can’t scam others. We’re finally building casinos when nobody has the money to gamble. Worst of all, we may never know the taste…
Yale Freezes Over [Ivy League]
Yale’s endowment has recently plummeted to a marginally less insane multiple of billions of dollars. In addition to layoffs and salary freezes, the nobles of New Haven may soon find themselves…
How to Turn Bronze Into Gold [Art]
The six-foot high 1960 Alberto Giacometti sculpture “Walking Man I” sold yesterday for $104.3 million, the most ever paid for a work of art. Unless you consider credit default swaps to be art, in…
Hoard Your Money, For God’s Sake [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: recalibrating our responsibilities. In tough times, we can’t be expected to support certain causes as effusively as we once did. Such causes include, but are not limited to:…
Why Waste Your Time in College When You Could Be Finding a Dead-End Job? [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: enamored with strategies doomed to backfire. College? Big waste of money. Taxing the rich? You’re punishing the best and brightest. When will the unemployed just start working…
A Scientific Theory of the Economic Progression of Total Brokeness [Recessionomics]
The Way We Live Now: Like a smooth criminal. Well, “smooth” is not quite the right word. Desperate? Yes. And occasionally inept. There are no banks left to rob. There’s no bull market left to…